~Waiting For The Storm To Pass~

~Write On Paper~

~Finding What Once Was~

~Finding What Once Was~

I decided to change my genre of writing,not forever just for my first book.. Waiting for the storm to pass is my journal to share with you. My goal is to write on paper. I can not write all the aspects of how my life changed and wrap it into one book..

I am still trying to wrap my head around how my life became chapters of a book.. This is what I have been struggling with; how to put these events that completely changed who I once was..Stacie..


I say Stacie because that is how I feel..I can’t find her..
searching for my soul.. the person I once was.. my comfortable me!

For anyone who is interested in my story, let me give you an idea of who I am.. I am the youngest of three girls. We all attended Catholic School even though my parents were not religious in any way they felt the need to send us, which I am grateful for..

My childhood was far from perfect and I still search for answers to the questions that pull at my soul..When I say far from perfect I don’t mean devastating. I was not abused or uncared for. I was never hungry or went without..


I kn
ow the heart wrenching life that children experience and would never complain or even try to compare the depths of our souls.. My parents selfish needs and their worse than unhealthy relationship was and still continues to be what ultimately brought me down to my knees..

I need to heal and can’t think of any other way than putting my pen to paper and writing about it..Laying down and just existing cannot be the answer..

 

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15 thoughts on “~Finding What Once Was~

  1. I said it before–you’re very courageous to be heading in the undiscovered land of your hurts and longings. Most people would just turn their backs and attempt to reboot their lives, erroneously believing that their past will stay put instead of following them along the way.

    What we experience–the good and the bad–affect who we become, but ultimately the most defining factor is what we do with our experiences.

    Cheers to you; you have my admiration and respect.

    • Rob,
      I also tried to reboot my life but the pain remained..Trying to move forward without coming to terms with what pulls on my soul has been very unsuccessful..
      I never thought the support from friends like you would actually give me the guided hand I need to find my way out of the dark..
      Having your respect and admiration means the world to me..
      Thank You,
      Sincerely….
      Stacie..

    • This is a wonderful sharing about our need to have healthy relationships with parents and others. It resonates the pain of being abandoned, or being ignored and not having enough time, about not getting the love that is needed and deserved. These are important words. Curtis

  2. “I am still trying to wrap my head around how my life became chapters of a book.. This is what I have been struggling with; how to put these events that completely changed who I once was..Stacie..”

    Honey Girl, all of our lives are chapters of a book. It’s how we know we’re growing, changing, evolving.. learning from the past. You just keep on writing and keep on making a difference. You have for me.

  3. “I am still trying to wrap my head around how my life became chapters of a book.. This is what I have been struggling with; how to put these events that completely changed who I once was..Stacie..”

    Honey Girl, all of our lives are chapters of a book. It’s how we know we’re growing, changing, evolving.. learning from the past. You just keep on writing and keep on making a difference. You have for me.

    • Hello Maureen,
      Thank You for coming by my new blog..
      I know you are busy with BroadSided and I also know you are true in what you believe..
      I hope you find the time to come back and comment…I value your honesty and outlook on life..I will cherish any advice..
      ThankYou
      Stacie..

  4. J Staley on said:

    It is good to pour it out on paper. If anything you cleanse your soul, and you can then move towards a healthy outlook on things. Sometimes just writing it out, and rereading it can make YOU stronger in so many ways. Yes, our parents can affect us later in life and I can see where this is coming from. I admire you in the way that you have found the strength to tell us your story. I am a great listener, and I hope that I can offer you some insight in any way.

    • That is exactly what I am trying to do..cleanse my heart out..
      I am still using crutches and trying to walk on my own..
      There has not been one day that goes by that I don’t feel emptiness..
      Your support gives me that push to let go of these babysteps and become who I once was..
      Thank You,I was looking forward to see your comment..
      Stacie

  5. Stacie, best of luck with your new writing style in hopes that it helps you to heal and takes you in a new and positive direction for your life.

  6. Ahhhhh #Oops Stacie lol. I forgot to include “Faith” in my babblings above. Well now,,,see here! Now you can practice “forgiveness” towards my erroneous way :).

  7. Good Morning Stacie and Happy 1st Day of the New Year (2012) –

    There is therapy in one’s own written words although you must be careful that the resentments within your heart don’t increase. It’s essential that resentment leave your heart forever. In order for you to fully recover, you need to love. Love comes in many forms and is expressed through action & feeling: gratitude, forgiveness, compassion, care, and prayer.

    Although I believe you don’t feel like it at this time, I also believe that you’re progressing in the right direction that your heart desires to travel. Your healing has begun because your heart is asking for it. Now ask for more healing…and then ask more…and then when you think your prayers from your heart are not being answered, then ask for more.

    Love is the key to the healing door that unlocks the beautiful desires of your golden heart. An amazing life soon follows. 🙂

    Brian ~

    • Brian,
      Wow,you made me sit and think about the way we forgive..
      If I truely forgave the people who I trusted the most..
      I can honestly say,No I did not..
      In my heart of hearts I thought I did but the resent is still so fresh,the wounds are wide open..
      This is something that I came to terms with today..
      Will I ever completely understand,absolutely not..The question that I now wonder is will I ever completely forgive..
      I guess this is part of my journey and if you did not write your comment I probably would have never come to this conclusion..
      I could never thank you enough for guiding me threw the unknown with the bright light your heart shines..
      Trying to walk it alone would only leave me lost..ThankYou for reaching your hand out to guide me..
      Stacie

    • Wisdom is a great gift 🙂 Thanks for sharing 🙂

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